It’s tough, I want you to know how you made me feel. However, I want you to also know that I’m still here.. I haven’t forgotten and that I still love you. I don’t know if it’s too late, and if a year is too long to say I’m sorry for whatever I did to you for you to treat me this way. I don’t want you to forget that even though we were drifting apart and we were becoming different people you still hold as a friend for me. You were there during all the rough patches, and even though you may not know much or able to do much, you made a difference. I don’t want to see you one day and have to say “hey, that’s the girl I was best friends with until she cut me out of her life”. I was angry at first, but more hurt and no matter what happens I will always care for you. I know I could have handled things differently, and I tried as much as possible to be fair and there for you. I just don’t want to have a bitter ending or know the wrong reasons why we never said goodbye.
when you care to much about everyone else and all they do is keep disappointing you.
I don’t believe in true love because love within itself should be true and pure, no matter who or what. There are no degrees of love, only in affection, or romance, or intimacy. Love is love, it’s as simple as that.
I do what I want, whatever, whatever!
I used to always think, “I can’t wait to find that right person, settle down, have kids, and have a family.” But now those thoughts don’t even concern me. Of course it’s not that I don’t want that at all, but it doesn’t bother me that it might not happen, or it doesn’t feel empty without having someone like that there. I don’t know, I’m really happy with just worrying about myself and going out, and well… being young and single (I guess).
lesson learned
never come to tumblr without having watched the latest episode of “Legend of Korra”
when you’ve said all there is to say and can barely have a conversation or have the same conversation over and over again. Yet you still hang out like every other day because you just like the presence of each other, you like to sit in comfortable silence or always ask the simple question every time… how was your day? And when you try to stop cause you know there is nothing left to do, the next day there is a feeling in you that makes you think of them over and over, and makes you know you miss them. So you see them again and you recreate that comfortable, and familiar time of silence. During this you realize you could be doing something else, be productive, spend time with another, but instead you settle into that silence and just be… with them.
I literally walked away just so you would know that I don’t have to withstand all your crap. I do it cause I care and you need to know that.
love.
:)
My first mother’s day without my mom… :( It was so hard to see all the mother’s and daughter’s come in together at work. All I have is a phone call, I don’t care what I have to face next weekend but I can’t wait to see my family and spend a whole 5 days with them! :)
outlet
All this is only momentary, I know I’ll get through it and that there is worst to come. I won’t lose anything cause all I need is permanent and no matter what will still be there… if it wasn’t like that then it wouldn’t be worth the lose anyway. I know I’ll always make mistakes and that I’ve already faced far worse. I just have to suck it up and get through it. There is a lot more that could be worse and although my reaction isn’t what is expected its because I know that I’ll be fine whether anyone is behind me or if I’m all alone.
